If You Could Relive a Moment in Your Life, Would You Change Anything?

Editor’s Note: This Verbatim column brought up memories that run the spectrum of emotions. Some responses deal with topics of loss and infertility, so take care in reading this month. The BPN team would like to thank our respondents for their honesty and openness about both the joy and pain we experience in life.

Whether it’s a case of hindsight being 20/20 or just a moment worth reliving, this month’s question had our colleagues taking a life audit. Some would choose a different path, while others wouldn’t change a thing. In this column, adopted from the familiar “Heard on the Street” format, we offer our responders a chance to answer the question posed in the title. These are their replies, reported verbatim. Enjoy!

Should’ve, Could’ve, Would’ve

Well, there are countless things that I would have done differently throughout my life, but who knows whether things would have turned out the way I would have expected them to. So, I’ll live with the way things are and hope that I’ve been able to gain some wisdom along
the way.

Bruce Swiecicki
Consulting Engineer
Tinley Park, Illinois

For Good or for Bad

I would let my life play out exactly as it is today. I am not alone in this world, and most decisions have a way of impacting others for good or for bad.

Daniel R. Richardson
Conger LP Gas Inc.
Tifton, Georgia

The Sister Ship

If I could relive one moment in my life, I would probably choose the period right after high school and join the military. At the time, I was very unsure of what I wanted to do after graduation. I think serving my country would have been a valuable experience, both professionally and personally. When I reflect on the choices I’ve made, I’m often reminded of ‘The Blue House’ by Tomas Tranströmer. In the poem, he describes our lives as having a ‘sister ship,’ a glimpse of the alternate paths we might have taken. Who would you be today if you had made a different choice?

It’s a fascinating idea to contemplate, but I think it’s equally important to appreciate the life we’re living now. While it’s natural to wonder about the roads not taken, our greatest responsibility is to make the most of the choices we did make and strive to be the best version of ourselves.

Lucy Shaffer
Shaffer’s Bottled Gas Inc.
Hooversville, Pennsylvania

Skipping the Cigarettes

I’ve had this reflection many times, as time goes by; I wonder what different choices would have resulted in alternative outcomes. But for me, all the choices I have made have led me to the wonderful life I currently live. And honestly, the butterfly effect-esque risk of changing anything is not even close to worth it. I understand that answer could seem like a cop out. So … I would never pick up smoking. There you go.

Robert Kenney
Metsa
McCallum, Texas

Worth the Wait: 6 Years & 3 Minutes

I initially thought I would want to relive my daughter’s birth, but after thinking about it, I would want to relive the moment my husband and I found out our IVF embryo transfer worked and that we were pregnant after six years of infertility. We waited what felt like the longest three minutes of our lives before lifting a towel covering three pregnancy tests on our kitchen counter. All three were positive. We collapsed into each other, crying, screaming, laughing and thanking God.

Sometimes I wish we had recorded our reaction, but honestly, I’m glad we didn’t. It was ours. Just the two of us, in our kitchen, realizing that everything we had hoped and prayed for was finally happening. Nothing will ever top the sheer, pure joy of that moment, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Kirsten U. McAlpin
Conger LP Gas Inc.
Tifton, Georgia

Turkey, Dressing & Everyone I Loved

If I could relive one moment, I would choose a holiday gathering from my childhood, when everyone I knew and loved was still alive and well. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d just want to take it all in again. The cousins would be running around together while the adults gathered in the living room and kitchen. The smells of turkey, dressing, ham and pumpkin pie would drift through the house.

My parents would be the age I am now, and my grandparents would still be active and vibrant. Aunts and uncles would be there, familiar faces we saw just often enough that having them in the house felt natural. And the cousins — my first and best friends — would all be together again. I would relive one of those holidays in a heartbeat. Looking back, I realize how much those ordinary gatherings meant. Just the thought of sitting in that house again, surrounded by the people I love and soaking it all in, makes me smile.

Charlie Criswell
Criswell Propane Inc.
Grinnell, Iowa

The Year That Gave Me My Master’s Degree

My partner and I made a decision early in the business that was risky. There were good things that came of it and there were bad things. I had just had my second child at the time of this decision to go down into another market with my company and partner with people that I barely knew. We were to disrupt the market and that sounded exciting. We were to build a company in a highly dense propane market. It seemed like we had the advantage.

And we did — for a few months. We had the element of surprise, like a ninja! But that soon faded as bigger companies put their full effort into both legal challenges and market stature. My partners at the time were locals and they knew the landscape very well. They knew the business inside and out because they had recently left a business they built as employees and jumped on as ‘temporary owners.’ I say temporary because that partnership did not last.

Soon, these partners, in the midst of the chaos, sought new, deeper funding. I don’t blame them because in business, money is power. They jumped to a new group, and I was able to make a clean break to get back to safety without losing our small business. Although the year I spent in turmoil, stress and hardship building a multimillion-dollar business in a new market was gone, I left with pride and a new respect for what I had in my company.

I matured dramatically during that year. If I were to do it all over again with what I know now, I would definitely hesitate. I would hesitate to work with people I don’t truly know. I would hesitate and pray longer before making consequential decisions like taking on new partners.

I would say I was lucky because I recovered, even though I lost what I had built in that venture. I think, strategically, I was naive and inexperienced. That experience gave me the master’s degree I have today. And I thank those people for involving me in the process.

The regrets I still have when thinking about that time would be personal. They exist as stress on my family, my business partner, and stress on my employees. Being young and reckless can only take you so far. I would definitely not put that type of stress on my family ever again.

Mike Dodd
Propane Ninja
Tampa, Florida

What Chaz Gave Me

If I could relive a moment in my life, I would relive the 23 minutes of my son Chaz’s life. I wouldn’t change anything, because I do believe that all of the events of my life have made me who I am and have shaped me. Chaz has brought so many other ‘loss moms’ into my life, he opened my mind and heart in new ways, and he has made a positive impact on the world. As heartbreaking and painful as that experience was, I would love to hold his tiny body and kiss his sweet face and tell him how loved he is.

Lauren Clark
Bergquist Inc.
Toledo, Ohio

1 More Ordinary Day

I would go back and spend an ordinary day with my great-grandmother, who passed away when I was a teenager. I wouldn’t change anything about the day itself. I would just appreciate it more. When you’re young, you don’t really think about the fact that those ordinary moments with people you love won’t always be there. I’d listen more, ask more questions and just enjoy being with her. I wouldn’t change how anything played out. I’d just love the chance to spend one more day with her and really cherish it.

Staci Rammel
Woodruff Energy
Bridgeton, New Jersey

Hindsight Is 20/20

I have a sign in my house that I gave to my wife that says, ‘If I had my life to do over again, I’d find you sooner so I could love you longer!’ — so there’s that. Hindsight is always 20/20, so there are a lot of small changes I would have made, but nothing major. It would, however, be fun to relive a summer from when I was in college or high school, when there were a lot less responsibilities (or comparatively none). I would have golfed a lot more, and hopefully that would have made me better now.

Trevor Beaudry
Beaudry Oil & Propane
Elk River, Minnesota

300 Guests & a Lesson in Hindsight

I would relive my wedding day. Looking back, I don’t think my husband and I would choose the big 300-plus wedding we had. We understand ourselves much better now, and a smaller, more intimate gathering would probably fit us better. That said, hindsight is always easier. We made the best decision we could with what we knew at the time, and it was a beautiful day surrounded by people who loved and cared about us. I’ve learned that it’s easy to look back and see what you’d do differently, but you can only make decisions with the information and perspective you have in the moment. That’s a lesson I try to pass along to younger people whenever I can.

Abby Thurston
Rural Computer Consultants
Bird Island, Minnesota

Our Choices Make Us

Whether they’d take a different road or keep everything just as it was, our colleagues’ answers have something in common: Every choice, good or hard, helped get them where they are today. So don’t wait for hindsight. Enjoy the moments that matter while you’re in them and learn from experiences even if they don’t go as planned. That’s how we grow!

If you are interested in submitting Verbatim responses, please contact Parsley at [email protected].